Close Call and Relief

Today is the first day I’ve felt like being on the computer since I went to my doctor’s office on Thursday. I posted mostly about my surgery and more on it at the Amoketeer’s blog. I wanted to reiterate on my blog about getting regular health checkups. Though they can be a pain in the neck, they also can nip things in the bud. For me, pressing forward in getting my hysterectomy was a lifesaver.

I sit here right now, looking at pictures of my mom, who died of lung cancer two years ago. She was my muse and my cheerleader in my writing- someone who has been missing majorly in my life. When I got the news that I went from zero to a step below uterine cancer- I desperately wanted my mom. She would’ve laughed at me, said something pithy and told me to get on with things. Knowing that she hadn’t taken care of her health like she should have hurt me more than I can say. Not having her here when I had my close call with cancer– knowing that had I waited- I would have had it- just closed me down emotionally. My male’s sister is fighting against breast cancer and doing awesome, just finishing her last chemo treatment before surgery and being a serious inspiration.

I faced myself this week. Faced how much losing my mom hurt my writing and hurt me privately. We shared a love of reading romances and mysteries. She indulged my book slut habits growing up and she taught me how to read fast and to get not just the theme of a story, but the deeper meaning of it for myself. I miss her all the more with this close call and with needing her to kick my ass on my writing.

She’d be proud of the weight-loss and she’d laugh at how I reacted to the news I could workout on a small basis. I’m finally at the relief stage of the close call- really truly relieved that I don’t have cancer, though the scare is still there. I kept my ovaries, so there will always be a risk for cancer in the future- something my doctor and I will monitor regularly.

Today, I have pictures of my mom on my computer desk as I try to finish my story to submit to Changeling Press’s Contest. I’m hoping by remembering my mom, her unconditional belief in my writing, and her love will help me get past this writing block I”m having. I’ve got my creativity well filled to the brim, but I need to make room since I now have a filled waiting room of stories needing to be told.

If you are a woman– get your annual Pap Smear test. Don’t put it off. Don’t skip it. Tell the doctor if you’re bleeding heavy or if you’re having other woman troubles. It could be something that can’t be easily detectable except by these things we normally don’t talk about.

If you’re a man- get your annual prostate exam. It’s not fun, but it’s important. The life you save might just be your own.