I’ve not written much the past month or so. It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s because I’ve been unhealthy and it’s been one of those things– get healthy or force myself to write and write big time crap. So, I’ve been indulging myself lately- I’ve been reading some great authors (Talia Griffin– Gillian Key series OMG!) and I’ve been luxuriating in movies and my male. Some major changes have happened the past couple of weeks, and so my online time has been cut, but I’m hoping in the next couple of weeks, that’ll change- especially when I get my desktop back. (Right now, I’m on my laptop– which does not have everything I need to be productive. LOL) Sometimes, writers have to take a break from writing. They have to remember why they write and what they love about it. Some have to rediscover the joy of writing and how to balance writing with daily life. Others need downtime to refuel their minds with new ideas. For me- it was a matter of health- without health, my writing would continue suffering– which was unacceptable to me. I’ve spent the past 4 years with a day job that doesn’t give me much stability– my days working and off rotate as do my hours, I had a mental breakdown, my mom got sick with lung cancer then died 6 months later, my dad ended up getting remarried and I found someone that I thought wouldn’t be possible and who loves me as much as I love him.
Most writers have a tendency to not take care of themselves- they’re caring for their characters, the others in their life and more. They come about last on the list when it comes to health. I know this because I’m one of them– have been even before I got published. But that’s just it- I’m a habitual person to put others before me. Now, don’t get me wrong– I think it’s appropriate to do so– but not at the expense of my health anymore. Why? Because I’ve been unable to do anything for others that I’ve been able to do in the past. Because I did so much that now, I’ve got problems I hadn’t realized because I just ignored it all for too long. Now it’s caught up to me and I’m paying the penalty.
So those of you who read my stories– I’ve not forsaken you. It’s just taking longer to get healthy and to get back up to a good level of writing speed to bring you new stories and spend time with everyone. My male in my life is determined to get me healthy. Thing is, he’s right in this. It’s harder to forget about my health with him bitching and reminding me. But it’s one of those things I need- because honestly, my brain isn’t wired to care for myself as one of the top people in my life. I’ve had to make sure that each day I take 2 hours for just me– whether it’s emailing or IMing or even watching a movie that’s pure indulgence (ask me about X-Men Origins: Wolverine and I’ll so discuss the naked Hugh Jackman scene with absolute delight!).
I beg patience as I relearn how to write efficiently and effectively. Taking breaks like this sucks for me because I lose the skills I’ve developed but at the same time, I am coming back with better depth and with better skills. But it’s learning to up the production that’s a struggle as I personally struggle with focus issues. My ADD and my breathing has begun interfering with my writing abilities- I’m honest on this because I don’t know how else to be. Because of these issues, I can’t sit and write for long periods of time since all my crap happened 4 years ago. I struggle to sit here and write this. I’ve gotten up 3 times, got a drink, cleaned the kitchen and wandered back in here. I’m seeing a couple of specialists in the next month to try to get back on track because I MISS writing and I miss being around online with everyone.
So, be patient with me. I’m going to keep writing my articles here, as they’re helping a bit in my writing and training me to sit and put out about 200-1000 words in a sitting or three. But it’s a slow process, especially as I’m moving on top of everything else. However, that said– thank you for staying by my side and enjoying my books. It means the world to me and I promise, I’m coming back– I’ve discovered– I can’t stop writing– even when I thought I had no choice. You all make me want to give you all and more and my stories aren’t fading away like I thought they would.