Over the past 2 weeks, we’ve spoken about orgasms for women– both clitoral and vaginal. I’ve talked about how they can be done separately or together. We know that arousal is potent for both men and women. Sometimes it’s hard to achieve that satisfaction at the same time when men are the microwaves of the sexual world and women are the crock pots. Which is why sometimes while reading romances and having the couple orgasm together makes me giggle. I’ve written about it, but I’ve also used my knowledge of what it takes to make it happen. So, today, let’s discuss orgasms of the male kind.

First things first, let me explain– orgasms are NOT the same as ejaculation. They are two separate events, where orgasm leads to ejaculation. Though many people think of them as one and the same, they are not. Men can have orgasms without ejaculation, but cannot ejaculate without the orgasm.

erect penis

Notice the picture regarding an erect penis. What this does it help you to understand the complexity that goes into a male orgasm. Though it’s a joke that men are quick on the sexual draw, there is a complex process that allows them to orgasm and ejaculate. When erect, blood fills the area, bringing about a buildup of pressure for men. This is what I call, “the need for release.” This need helps to get the seminal fluid and the sperm to mix in the correct portions with a bit of prostate fluid to create the perfect semen to be released.

Male orgasms differ in intensity, just like women’s do. In fact, there are various factors that can help men to have stronger, more mind-blowing orgasms. What’s interesting– sometimes they need the loving touch of their significant other to do so. Remember, the past couple of weeks, we’ve been talking about how men can help their women to have better orgasms in a multiple of ways, this week it’s about making them feel like a king!

One of the surest ways of giving him a great orgasm- make him go without for a while. Yes, absence makes the heart grow fonder, and when he denies himself masturbation and going without sex, when it comes time to enjoy it–the explosion is more intense for him. Why? The buildup of desire, of having that release, helps stimulates his mind to the point that the body begins craving that release, knowing it’s got to wait.

Think about it like this, when you tease a man, stroking his cock, perhaps giving a slightly stronger squeeze than normal, nibbling on the head of the cock, and performing oral sex, you’re increasing sensations along this blood-filled area that now is beginning to throb. Even more intense, his body senses his testicles tightening, his cock thrumming, and his mind is beginning the countdown to explosion. The more the tease and stop, the more he will want to come and the orgasm that builds from the base of his cock upwards, increases in intensity when he finally is allowed to ejaculate.

 Now, there’s a secret in here that most men don’t know. What is it? When men orgasm, it’s not just from their penis, it’s also from the anal area as well. Yes, men can and do have analgasms. In fact, when they orgasm, the sphincter muscles tighten, the prostate is massaged, and the muscles along the penis contract rhythmically on their own until finally the fluids created mix and spurt out through the opening on the head.

Remember the article on anal play we did? Just think on how intense of an orgasm a male would enjoy combining both mild anal play with sexual intercourse. It’s a biggie, and once it’s experienced, very few men are willing to give up that kind of sensation just because it seems weird. What if the man is still thinking that only homosexually oriented males engage in that? Well, they need to think again. More and more men are discovering that anal play for them, massages some of the most sensitive nerves in their genital areas and it doesn’t mean they’re turning gay– it means that they’ve finally are enjoying the same intense, mind-numbing orgasms gay men have known and experienced for years.

 Here’s a surprising fact for many people– male orgasms last on average– 17 seconds. That’s right, 17 seconds from start to completion, but the hormone commotion then takes over. Which means, during those precious seconds, your male has triggered a hormonal explosion within him to equal your own. It’s this intensity that tend to take the punch out of most males and why with the prolactin release, they feel the urge to sleep. Most women are reaching their need for release right at the same time, so you have to ask– how can we make this last for us both?

First things first- allow the male in your life to bring you to orgasms through clitoral stimulus at least twice. Why? Because you’ll be lubricated and your vagina will be ready to get in on the act.

Second- woman superior position allows you to control the depth, the pace and bring him to that point of needing release. Instead of letting him have that release, you can place your thumb at the base of his cock, and your other fingers along the opposite side and squeeze until the urge passes. Then begin again the process of arousing you both through various positions that heightens that desire within your bodies.

Only when you are both close, let it happen. It honestly doesn’t matter who comes first, but know this, even once a man ejaculates, he’s still able to keep thrusting with a semi-erect penis within you, which means it’ll slide against your G-Spot, giving you more sensations, sending you into an orgasm as well.

Side note about oral sex. Males love this. Part of it is mental– the idea of being serviced, the idea of a woman taking him into her mouth, pleasuring him and only him, it’s a turn on that can’t be denied. In fact, you can use oral sex as a way to train a man to last longer, getting him aroused, teasing his cock over and over, with down time only when he’s hitting that point where he needs to come. By using this way of training, you’re also doing him a favour, you’re giving him a chance to experience an intense orgasm that he might not be used to having.

Of course, I couldn’t talk about male orgasm without talking a bit about toys. Cock rings are fantastic! Why? Because it helps a male to hold back his as it also provides clitoral stimulation for the female. There are various types, though know that the stretchy ones of plastic-don’t hold back orgasms as well as the leather straps that lock to a certain size. What I recommend is having a set of both– leather and plastic. Experiment with the cock rings to see which ones are comfortable for him to have on, but still give him the resistance he needs to prevent his orgasm from coming too soon. Use the leather one for those nights you really want to drive him wild, only releasing it when you want him to come hard and long.

Hopefully this three part series on orgasms for men and women will give you some ideas on how orgasms work, how they can be done together and separately. Orgasms are different in intensity, duration, and type for each person. We can’t ever completely line up, but we can do our best to make it close. It takes time, experimentation and most of all– an adventurous spirit to try something new sexually with the one we’re with.

Until next time, keep safe, dream hot, and act out those sexy fantasies with your significant other!


Mistress Cynnara