This week, we’re talking about Orgasms– this time going deep into the heart of Vaginaland. There are a few things to discuss when it comes to vaginal orgasms. Some women never experience them, while others are blessed with the ability to come multiple amount of times with that penetration.
What causes vaginal orgasms? There are a lot of studies, myths, and ideas associated with them. In fact, there was a study that showed that a woman’s gait could be associated with vaginal orgasm. Many people talk about the G-spot orgasm and how potent it is. Yet, some women never seem to get that spot touched, no matter how long, how thick or how much pressure is put on those areas that people say it exists. Now scientists even talk about how not all women have G-spots(Grafenburg Spot). In fact, there is even physical evidence that the thicker tissue with those nerve bundles that help achieve those orgasms–do not exist in all women. In fact, it’s said that almost 20-25% of all women have vaginal orgasms, the rest either climax through clitoral or do not experience orgasmic release at all.
So let’s talk about Vaginaland. Come with me. Last week, we spoke about clitoral orgasms and the outer layout of the female genitalia. This week, we’re going to explore about this much penetrated but misunderstood land of femaleness. So, let’s take a look at how the inner workings of a woman work, and how to take advantage of certain things to come closer to experiencing vaginal orgasms.
First, let’s talk about the vulva, which include the labia lips. We remember that the clitoris does actually have legs which lead down to the outer labia lips, which are part of the vulva and as they’re stimulated, they swell, evoking more sexual response. So, it’s extremely important in both clitoral and vaginal orgasms to have stimulated this area in the proper manner.
Second, we come upon the entrance of the vagina, you’ll notice that it is composed of stretchable muscles. (We who have given birth are grateful for this aspect, otherwise there would be no humans on this earth ever again!) But once you slide a finger in there, make sure that the pad of your fingertip is facing up– towards the belly button. Now about 2-3 inches inside, along that area of the vaginal wall, you might feel a slightly thicker muscle that might be a bit bumpy. This is where you’ll find the G-spot in most women who have one. Some have it higher, but most have it at that point. This tissue actually can cause female ejaculation with clear fluid similar to the prostrate fluid that composes semen in men.
Interesting side note- the tissue surrounding the prostate is similar in nature to the spongy tissue that separates the vaginal wall from the urethra area and responds in kind. So, stimulation will increase bloodflow, which in turn, will allow further pleasure to be experienced for the female. What does this mean for the person who is willing to take the time? It means by increasing pleasure to the outer vulva and along the G-spot area, will more likely to help a woman to experience a vaginal orgasm.
One thing I want to point out, there are many women from the past and even today who will tell you that there is no such thing as a vaginal orgasm. That it’s the pressure against the clitoris that causes the vaginal spasms of orgasm. I disagree with that because I’ve been pleasured without clitoral stimulus, just vaginal penetration and have managed to enjoy multiple orgasms.
Now that we’ve discussed about the physicality of the vagina, how do we go about experiencing climaxes via vaginal stimulation? Just as we did in the last week’s blog, we have to build up the sexual tension and the need within the woman. Not just actions, but also in the verbal stimulus. Women don’t just come from physicality, they also require the mental erotic massage so that their body follows the mind.
I recommend starting with the same technique as the clitoral. In fact, by stimulating the clitoris, you’ll swell the tissue in both the clitoris, the labia, which in turn stimulates the G Spot. So, play with her, lick her, rub her, and more importantly, take the time to whisper sweet, sensual nothings to her while you touch her body.
As she gets aroused, you’ll see her lips puff up, her slit will become wet, and more importantly, her body will begin moving, trying to guide you to what feels good. Let her show you how much pressure, when to ease off, and what movements get her going. Once this begins, the next step is to slide one finger, usually the middle finger, deep within her.
Why are we going into finger fucking first? Because many times, you can prepare a woman for sexual intercourse by allowing her time to adjust to being stroked on those erogenous zones. Slide in the middle finger, pad upwards towards her bladder. Slightly curl it as you pull it back down, rubbing against that upper vaginal wall. This rubbing and pressure will help excite her further. Create a rhythm that she can work with, rocking her hips in time with your finger, then slowly slide in another and after a while, perhaps a third. Use the slightly curved fingers to stroke the upper wall. As you do this, you might want to place your head on her belly, which will provide downward pressure and your mouth can lick and tease the clit area, if she wishes.
This will help her to experience the intensity of having her G-spot stroked, fondled with both slow and fast, intense speeds. She might begin asking for more, deeper, harder or tell you the fingers aren’t enough– that she needs more– she needs something bigger inside. This is the call of the moment- some men want to insert dick at this point, others prefer using a dildo or vibrator, giving even more sensation to the moment.
The idea here is to build up the need to have something more. The idea that it’s empty in her vagina and she needs to be filled to scratch that itchy desire that you’re building up within her. You can even vary up various ideas. Start with some finger fucking, then perhaps some oral play, then bring in a toy, then perhaps tease her with some warming liquid (I highly recommend the ones at Adam and Eve, I’ve yet to find one that I didn’t like!), and proceed as she guides you. Remember, the important thing is to see her reactions– what makes her grip the sheets, what makes her try to move to get to a certain area penetrated and pressed upon? Noticing these subtle clues will help you and will help her experience vaginal orgasm.
I will be honest here– I recommend doing both clitoral and vaginal techniques with every woman- whether or not they can have vaginal orgasms. Why? Because the sensation is filling and mentally does much to make a woman feel wanted, loved and sexy as hell. When I have helped friends in dealing with a clitoral only woman, I’ve showed them that by varying up both the vaginal techniques as well as the clitoral has a positive effect, especially as it gives the woman extra stimulus and creates greater sensation to induce orgasms. I come either way- and I’m proud of that. I’m lucky as well. Not every woman can orgasm easily. Again, make sure to talk to your doctor about this– it could be hormonal, physical and fixable!
Now that we’ve discussed clitoral and vaginal– what else is there to deal with orgasms? Next week– Orgasms of the Male Kind!
Until then, dream hot, work on being the best lover you can be for yourself and others, and reach for your goals- you can do it!