This week’s topic is about rough sex. It’s been a popular one with both men and women. Sometimes, it’s good to fuck and fuck hard. But many people wonder about the physics of rough sex and how to do it so it doesn’t hurt too much. So, we’re going to cover some ideas on how to roughen up your sex life without being sore for a week afterwards.

What does it mean to play rough sexually? I’ve covered it before, but it bears repeating. It means different things to different people- from being more sexually aggressive to the point that you’re more physical in a sexual way. But there are ways of playing safe while having what I call rough fun. Let’s explore a couple of ideas on that subject. 

If you don’t have a pair, get at least one pair of nipple clamps. Whether alligator style or the traditional clamps, these are a must when it comes to some rough, yet fun play. One major thing to remember when it comes to any kind of clamps is that you can only use them on a part of the body for a limited time. That means for anyone not experienced in wearing or using clamps– put them on for only five minutes at a time. Why? Because too long and it’ll hurt and damage body parts. The goal is to heighten the sensations, not to hurt someone physically. You can build up to having nipple clamps on for as long as 20-30 minutes, depending on how tight you put them on. Now here’s the fun thing when it comes to these lovely toys– it’s not how tight you put them on for, it’s when you take them off. Think of when you were little and you used to sit on your foot or even wrap a rubber band around your finger– cutting off the circulation, then when you eased off it, as the blood flow returned, the sensation stung and yet it felt neat. That’s the same idea behind sexual clamps of any kind. To create that sensation as it’s removed. So don’t feel you have to overdo it- you don’t. So get those nipple excited, put clamps on them, tease them while in clamps, and when the time comes to orgasm, release those clamps and watch the sensation flow!

Now that we covered one of my favourite ideas when playing sexually rough, let’s move onto another one– bondage. I don’t mean the handcuffs or the velcro cuffs. I mean some old fashion, soft rope from your laundry line. When I talk bondage in this rough sense, we’re talking pinned to the bed, rope wrapped around the wrists, tied above the head and let the sensations and teasing commence. Remember though to play safe in this. If a person has trust issues with being tied, let them do the tying and you be the recipient. You’ll be glad you did. Trust me- it’s good every so often to give up the power position in this case. It reaps a reward that explodes over and over again. 

How can bondage be rough sex play? Simple, the idea of being bound, at the whims of another is very erotic- especially between people who trust one another. The other aspect is that you’re forced to give up control- regardless if you’ve agreed to it beforehand– when it’s real- it’s an emotional rollercoaster, one that can find hidden depths in each of you. Sometimes, it’s the thought of being bound and forced to do things against our will (or to force us to let out the inner slut we all seem to possess), that makes the roughness sexier to our bodies and minds. It’s about time to take advantage of those silk ties you’ll never wear! 

What about changing your dress and how you approach your lover? That’s one of the coolest things about rough sex– you get to put on a mask. It’s not for everyday sex, it’s for once in a while- fuck-me-stupid sex that blows the mind and the body out of the water. It’s where you grab your male and kiss him and tell him exactly what you’re going to do to him- whether he wants it or not. It means tying his hands, making him eat you out or he’ll get no release. It’s about pushing her against the wall, pinning her hands over her head and letting her know that you’re going to fuck her senseless right there. It’s about stepping out of the box we normally play in sexually and being more aggressive, more bold in our desires to serve and be served. If you’re normally the more passive one, this is your time to be the bold Pirate Queen stealing whatever booty or male you want. If you’re the cautious, sensitive male lover, this is the time to show your alpha ego out a bit and let out how much you plan on ravishing her without her being all that willing or mild. 

So, think of rough sex as something you do that’s not your everyday sex thing. This is a time to let your inner alpha slut out to play. What’s real fun is when you agree to one of you being the more aggressive and the other one obeying. Trust me– you think all day long on what the other person might or might not do– then when it comes time, you’re both wildly excited already! 

Remember– safe sex is consensual sex with all the proper precautions taken. No means no, and put those safe words into play when you do this. That way the best will come out for everyone! 

 

Altijd, 

Mistress Cynnara