Today, I’m taking a topic close to my heart and speaking on it. It’s something I’m personally dealing with, and honestly, the more I think on it, I realize that others also are dealing with this as well.

When you’re not in top physical shape, or even top mental shape- how can you still enjoy good sex?

Interesting, isn’t it? This came up because of my lovely male. I’ve been having some health issues, and though they’ve not completely interferred with our sexplay, it does come up. Especially if I’m mentally feeling low or my physical pain gets too high.

So, how can you- regardless of sex, make sure you can still enjoy sex- even when you feel physically and/or mentally like crap? First thing- realize bad health is temporary, IF you take the time to get healthy. This is the hardest part for me, I’m more likely to ignore my health and do what’s got to be done until my body crashes. However, this kind of behaviour does only one thing- creates not just one issue to be resolved but a series that could’ve been smaller had I taken care of things in the beginning.

One thing I’ve been doing that works for me is this- I make a list of my aches, pains, mental status and write it down. Beside each point, I list all the possible causes of those problems. Then once I have the list, I see what items can be grouped together. This lets me see what main cause is the culprit. Having done that, I do the part I find hardest- creating a list of things I MUST do to get rid of the problem.

It’s not easy, especially if you’ve been ignoring your physical health for years. Hell, many times I’ve said my physical health is not an issue, it’s dealing with the emotional ones. It’s true and untrue. They’re linked, and there’s no way that one can be separated out from the other. And now, it’s interfering with my right to pleasure. It’s not easy as you get older- your body also finds that things you’ve done before, can’t be done as easily. This is also because of the stresses our bodies are put through.

My next item is the hardest- for me. I go through my final list and see where I’m mentally sabotaging myself. See, this is hard because we all sabotage ourselves in one fashion or another. Why? Because for us- it’s not that we don’t want to succeed, it’s we’re afraid we can’t keep it going.

So, how do we take care of ourselves so we can have a great, active sex life? First- if we’re overweight, we want to lose that weight. *raises hand* Yes, I’m first on that list, as I have a lot of weight to lose. But the thing is- not all of us are meant to be skinny minnies. We’re not. But we can be a lot healthier – which means building muscles, flexibility, and eating heart healthy.

For me, it’s going on a diabetic, low carb diet. It means I’m putting into play the Lapband. I want it, I need it, and it will work for me in the long term. Why? Because I’ve done the yo-yo dieting and I’ve done unhealthy things to my body to the point it won’t work with me much anymore. It means eating more veggies and more meat and less of the easily broken down carbohydrates that can truly smack me silly. I’m a carb addict, badly. I hate giving up potatoes, pastas, bread, rice. Yet, I know I need to break the cycle to help my body get to a better place.

The second thing we need to do is exercise. Now, right here, normally- I’m so out the door. I hate to do exercises. Severely allergic to exercise. (I have asthma that’s aggravated by exercise) But that said, it’s got to be done. What I do now is substitute things I love to do- like dancing, walking, swimming, and even sex and put that on my exercise list. They are things that increase my aerobic output, that make me feel good and will help me get into shape.

That said, for anyone who is into yoga, pilates, or any kind of stretching program- you’re on the right track. We humans do not stretch our body muscles enough. Flexibility we had as children leaves if we’re not careful to maintain it. So, get a couple of yoga or stretching videos and do them a couple times a week. Start small– perhaps as little as 15 minutes each time. Then work up to the full video over a period of a month or two. The goal here is simple- you want to do the fun, kinky sex stuff- but you can’t if you can’t move. So, it’s time to work this into your weekly routine.

Third- it’s time to see the health professional. Why did I put this third? Because most of us will ignore it at number one because we think we know better. Plus, if you’ve started eating healthier and moving, you’re going to want to see the doctor because you’ve discovered problems you can’t cure without help. Before you go to see your doctor, make a list of things to discuss. Use the list I referred to earlier as your starting point. This will help you get the most from your doctor appointment. The doctor might encourage you in what you’re doing while also helping you via meds, more appointments, or even by allowing you to increase what you’re doing already.

Your health is directly linked to how you feel sexually. By doing these simple things- in moderation- you can get your health and your sex to a level you enjoy best. It’s not easy when you feel that time has kicked you to the curb. Nowadays, we can enjoy good health, good sex, and feel like we’re part of the world by taking small steps to being our best.

And remember– good, hot, heart racing sex– IS good for you too. Now, if you have heart problems, make sure you talk to your doctor regarding sexual intercourse. You might have to make small modifications to keep yourself heart- healthy. Good sexual health is germane to physical and mental health as well. Don’t neglect any one for the other. Only together can you truly be happier and healthier as a person!

Until next week- keep safe, sane and consensual!

Mistress Cynnara

Today, I’m taking a topic close to my heart and speaking on it. It’s something I’m personally dealing with, and honestly, the more I think on it, I realize that others also are dealing with this as well.

When you’re not in top physical shape, or even top mental shape- how can you still enjoy good sex? (more…)