Today’s post is a bit different. I’m doing my update for ROW80 but I’m also wanting to talk about those who support us when we write. It hit me when I was working this past week or so just how much I rely on my fiance for his help on things when I’m in the middle of major writing. He’s really good. Not all of us have that, and that’s tough. Really it is. One of the things I’ve relearned in my writing is sometimes you really honestly need to just do it. No excuses, no asking for permission. You do it because you need to write. If you ask, you might be told no, what about me? But if you write, they WILL adapt to the change. They might not like it, but they do adapt. But that’s why I want to mention the support systems in writing.
Writing is lonely. Though many of us know each other online, we write alone. Sometimes, we can write together online through chats and IMs, when it comes down to it, in that moment– we’re alone with us and the page we’re on. We might share, we might encourage each other, but it’s just us. But that support means the world to us because not all of us have support systems at home we can rely on. It hurts occasionally when you don’t have that. With me, my mom was my biggest supporter and cheerleader. She got why I wrote romance. She was so proud. When she passed away, it was like a huge hole was there. Now, you have to understand, my fiance has always been great about my writing, even the fact that I write erotic romance. But until he read my stuff and actually saw how my process worked, he didn’t know how writers wrote. It was a learning experience. Since then, he’s been fantastic. Very supportive. I’m very lucky to have him in my life as being on my side. You should see him at cons with me. *grins* He’s great.
My sisters are good to me. They love me for who I am and they’re getting there. They might never be able to read my romance books, but my other stuff, in time, they might be able to read them. For them, it’s not that I write, it’s they worry on the content. Not that it bothers them- but that I might include them without warning them. *grins* We’ve worked through most of that. Now I tell them if I put them in a story, it’ll be the mystery series. LOL That seems to make things easier on us all. They’re learning to support my writing in other ways now– and it’s good. My dad– my dad might not ever come completely around for the romance stuff– and that’s okay. He’s my dad. LOL But on the other things, maybe one day. One can hope.
Now I have fellow writers who are also my friends. We’ve grown close over the years and developed great friendships. Let me tell you, it’s been great. They have been on my side every day since I was unpublished and after. Those we are my friends since I’ve been published- they have stuck by me even when I had my breakdown and I feared I would never write again. Those are people who truly understand how scared I was when learning how to tackle my ADD. It was a very scary thing. But I will say this– their support and encouragement helped me in ways, I can never thank them enough. They kept pushing me to do what I could, when I could. Even if it was only promotion of the books I had out, the thought was to keep the door open. Then it was, how about just a bit of writing– just a couple of paragraphs. How about trying this technique? Why not give this a try— see if it makes any kind of change for you? They were the ones who gave me ideas and the ones who helped me to think outside of the traditional writers box. Without them, I’d be struggling still. My family would love me no matter what, but my writing family helped me to find new ways to look at the problem. They understood that writer mentality and knew I needed to get the voices OUT of my head. LOL
Which is why you as a writer need to build support systems of your own. You do not have to be alone in this writing world. You shouldn’t. Developing a good critique partner, someone you can rely on to tell you when you’re sucking wind is important. (My friends will give me great “WTF is this crap? You are blowing shite and doing it well, please revise and try again, woman!”) It makes all the difference in the world because these people won’t let you down. You need them to be real, to be helpful, and to be in some ways, hurtful. Not in a bad, mean-spirited manner– but in that family manner that says, “You need to learn this to become a better writer or you’re going to get burned by a mean rejection letter.” You need to have writer buddies when you’re published to help you promote each other. It’s essential in today’s world! That way you can promote one another and push each other’s books. It helps ever so much to spread the good word out there! I love helping to get readers to know more about my buddies– Maggie Nash, Dawn Montgomery, Selena Illyria, Cassandra Carr, Qwillia Rain, and more of the lovely ladies who make up the writer group I’m part of. They are a huge reason I’ve not given up. Without them, I’d be sulking and wondering why I can’t succeed any further. Instead, I’m planning on submitting to new publishers– trying to expand my horizons while still keeping the publishers I have! That’s how awesome these ladies are! That’s what good support systems do for you. They give you that boost when you need it, they also help you plan your goals effectively so you feel reassured by what you want to do.
Now onto my ROW80 update. I’ve slowed down a bit this week– got caught up in some reality stuff. But I’ve finished one small project that needs to be polished. The other project is half done. *does happy dance* It needs to be done and polished so it can be submitted by the 15th. I should have that covered. That’s five days away. *grins* So, that’s my story. I’m sticking to it. I’m excited because the second story I’m working on is a Victorian erotic short story. *laughs* Yup. Me. Historical. Go ahead, giggle. I’ll wait. Plus, I’ve been plotting away on my mystery book. Thrilling! So, things are moving along well. My next thing is transcribing the scenes I have on the mystery and putting the final touches on the main character list for this first book. From there, it’ll be time to make the plot cards and scene sheets. *squees*