Cynnara Tregarth

My dad had called to see how I was doing. I had told him about being sick and such and what I’ll be facing in the future. But more than that, he called to ask me about how I felt about this Mother’s Day. Honestly, I didn’t know as it wasn’t here. But yesterday was the day, and looking back–I realized that I do miss mom.

I think part of it was because I told Dad how I truly felt with Mom. That she was my connection to the family. That of anyone– she and I were most alike and without her– I wasn’t able to find the way to communicate with them so they could at least understand part of me. With her, it was so different. She seemed to understand why I needed away time and why I’d look at my family and balk. But now Dad knows. I know on some level it hurts him. I don’t mean to hurt him, but he and I are very different and have different perspectives, though we both miss mom.

So I worked yesterday and it was okay. Then I came home and did something just for me. I went in my bedroom and read all three books in the Kay Hooper Shadows series. Why? Because it was something my mom and I have done together in the past. We’d buy books and read them so we could talk about them. So, I did it in memory of my mom…and for me.

In fact, mom made me do something I normally don’t do. She made me put her in a book. That’s right. In the book, Jack’s Back, she plays Tiana’s mom. The scene with the coffee– that is SO my mom. I do miss her.

I hope every mother and others who mother people had a beautiful day yesterday. Today I’m doing laundry, reading email and trying to work on this pink chair diary thing. Somehow– I got conned into doing it. LMAO